Sunday, September 6, 2009

Venus Vs Mars

I got this forward from a friend and since it has been going around for years, you have most likely seen it.

Rules for Women:

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever

1. Crying is blackmailing.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 24 hours.

1. It is genetic for us to look at women. Just deal with it.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

I should ideally respond with rules for men, eh? But women really dont make them because we know men never even attempt to hear them leave alone following ! Perhaps a few suggestions and thoughts.....

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever - if u dont want us to do it, u shouldn't either => messing up with ur mush or goatie or watever !

1. Crying is blackmailing. - you stop drooling and we'll stop crying !!

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! - If you dont mind us saying "can you get out now??" rather than "I guess I have to finish my work now", then its fine with us !

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. - When you know all about the cricketer that captained his team to a Ranji trophy in 2007 or what Ambani is up to, is it that difficult to remember a couple of dates involving the person you say you "care" for? Have you ever thought about how happy you could make her by actually remembering at least one?

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,all comments become null and void after 24 hours.

if(stupidThingNotRepeated){
nullAndVoid(pozhachupo);
}
else
{
payForIt(adapaavi);
}

1. It is genetic for us to look at women. Just deal with it. - It is genetic for us to be possessive. Just deal with it and the glaring and the screaming !!

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. - Then for God's sake, dont tell us that you want to try your hand at cooking, please !! aprum asai mattum dhan irukkum....dosai, apalam,vadai edhuvum irukadhu !

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. - When stranded in a Dutch speaking country, not knowing where to go at midnight, we dont mind your "know-it-all" act as long as u at least allow us to ask for directions !

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. - We are mind readers and you can never get away with your lying ! so simply, speak the truth ! Our mind-reading ability is proof of how much we know and care about you.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. – Then why do you complain when we shop for hours, obviously we can see in 224 colors !


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. - You should know that the longer you wait, the powerful the ''nothing'' becomes, be warned that it is an exponential series.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. – oh you poor thing, have you still not understood that we patiently listen to such topics only to use it as a bait to take you shopping or to a wedding ?

1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape. – can you deal with it if we follow the same logic?

Disclaimer: All the above mentioned are real and nothing imaginary! Anything resembling anyone is totally intentional!

I hope you had a good laugh….and that brings us to the interesting point of how men being from Mars and women being from Venus make life really exciting; it would just be too boring if every man did what his woman expects of him and viceversa, right ? oh..well...live and let live :D !
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