Sunday, February 19, 2012

Losing faith in people very uncharacteristic of me. I get upset with them, fight with or yell at them but I never lose faith in people I know and if they are strangers, I just grumble about them but I eventually get over it.

I recently got a gift certificate for a massage and when I reached the parlour, I was surprised that it was actually a house in a quiet residential area away from the main road and not a commercial establishment. Before I went in for my appointment, I called Ashok, gave him the address of the place and told him that if I didn’t call him back in an hour, he should call back and check with me. I went in and met an extremely friendly and professional masseuse. When I saw her I felt guilty because I hadn’t trusted her enough to not have a back-up plan. Maybe this is good practice, but to me the distrust I had about an innocent stranger made me think (and what better place to do it than a massage table!)….

I don't know if this is a part of growing up and finally facing reality but lately a lot of people are letting me down. I am inclined to blame the news (Syrian Genocide, Iran Nuclear plans, Greek debt situation and the list goes on) and the biography of Steve Jobs (there are things about him in the book that I need'nt have known) but I know its more personal than that.

I always believed in the adage that good things happen to good people. It does not mean that life is always a bed of roses but it only means that every problem that occurs paves the way for something better and in the end, everything ends well. But in the situations I have been seeing, try as hard as I might, I cannot see a silver lining. I only see people bullying those who cannot stand up for themselves or for their loved ones, I only see the good hearted ones getting hurt and being helpless. I would love to be nosy, step in and fight their battles or rather give the bullies a piece of my mind but that would only make things worse.

This is a good part to insert a disclaimer - There is nothing wrong with my life or me, nobody died but I am seeing so many problems happening to people around me that I am afraid that I am letting go of my optimism and my inherent faith in the goodness of people, albeit slowly !

One simple way would be to tune myself out for a while and not get involved in others' problems but when is running away the answer to anything ? If I cannot do what I do best i.e. talk to them, when people are in trouble, then the guilt of not being there when they need me would be overwhelming.

Oh...well...this too shall pass....until then I have to bear with myself, replace books with comics, news with funny sitcoms and look harder for ways to still cling on to the optimism and faith I have left !

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