Suja Akka....

.....walking down the road in her orange sari, green blouse, with a brown handbag on one shoulder, her long black plaited hair swaying to and fro, the single red rose.....I liked everything about Suja akka (name changed to protect her privacy) and when she came back from the office, she would flash a radiant smile, stop and chat with periamma and all along I would be staring at her.....she was the grown-up, but not as grown-up as periamma or periappa, she would still talk to us about cinema, tell us jokes, stories, dress us up for an occasion, she did wonderful Mehndi designs for us, taught us dance moves for the new year celebration, she was always an integral part of my annual holidays since she lived right next door to my cousin's place where we all met every summer, she is in fact the only person I voluntarily call Akka.

I still vividly remember the day Suja akka came to our house with a photo in her hand, with a sort of blush. She gave it to periamma and said ''ivar dhan ponnu pakka varar'' and I was too excited for words. I was 14 years old then and I had learnt from many helpful tamil movies that ''ponnu pakardhu'' was a very romantic, exciting ceremony. I wanted to see who that person was who was going to marry my Suja akka. When it was finally my turn to see the photo, I noticed a very pleasant looking guy and I immediately thought ''Dear God, let Suja akka get married only to this guy''.

Then came the wedding day. I used to ogle even at Suja akka's everyday wear, so you can imagine what I did in her wedding. She wore a bright green sari for the reception and a red rose in her hair (sridevi style). The wedding was probably the last day I saw her properly. She went away to her inlaws' place in a different city and I went in a different way - school, college hostel and then Germany. In fact I didn't even see her in my wedding.

Then one fine day I learnt that her husband was coming to Munich on a business trip. When I met him I realised that although it had been more than a decade, he hadn't changed much and neither had his grey eyes, soft features and shy expression. We had a great time and when he left he promised to bring Suja Akka and the kids (they have 2 kids) for xmas vacation since he was going to be in Munich for business anyway. Come they did…we had a great time and it was really exciting for me to be treated as a grown-up by Suja akka. I flushed with pleasure when Suja akka pointed to me and told her 13 yr old daughter “sowmyava pathuko, neeyum avala madhri varanum”! When they left they made me promise that I would visit them in Dubai sometime.

I never realized it would happen so soon but on my way to India, I got a chance to take a weekend break in Dubai (getting the 36 hour transit visa is a piece of cake, you can do it via email and the visa is just a .pdf that you print out yourself !). Suja akka had informed all her friends and neighbours there about my visit and I was completely flattered when everyone I met said something like “neenga dhan sowmyava ?”. Needless to say, we did a lot of talking, ooru suthifying inspite of the beastly warm 45 deg C weather, shopping, gossiping (:D), eating and when it was time for me to leave, the kids came up with a number of ideas on how I can postpone my flight at no extra charge :D !

Childhood heros (and heroines) are always special but what is even more special is coming across them later in life and getting the nod of approval from them! Do you agree ?

An interesting encounter...

I have read somewhere that life is like a box of assorted chocolates, you never know what you will get next....it was this thought that first occurred to me when I met Mrs.Rani at a party (name changed to protect her privacy). She exuded so much warmth that I was immediately drawn to her. One moment, she was asking about my job and was making intelligent remarks and the next moment, she was urging me to try the desserts in the dinner buffet. I felt so comfortable and attached to her that I took her invitation to visit her home too gladly.

She wanted me to visit her for dinner but time permitted me only to visit her for tea. When I saw the spread she had prepared, I was glad I had just had fruit for lunch ! There was everything from dhokla to samosa to tikki.

I still cannot believe I spent 2 hours with her because time just flew by. We talked about a variety of topics from travel to inter-caste/race marriages and I was taken aback by her open mindedness, perspective and understanding. She is probably as old as my mother and when she told me that she was/is completely ok with her son having married an American girl without the slightest hint of regret, I was surprised.

When my son told me he wanted to marry an American girl I asked him why, he said ''she makes me happy'' and when I asked her why she wanted to marry my son, she said ''He takes good care of me'' and then I said yes, what more does one need from a marriage?

I was completely stumped by this narration ! I have seen many people boast of being open minded but the rules are always different when it comes to their kids. But here is someone who practices what she says !

Then she showed me pictures and I saw an american girl dressed in a salwar, with mehndi in her hands, entering a house after having toppled the rice bowl - she smiles and tells me that she wanted to give her daughter-in-law a desi welcome and there I saw the perfect mix of tradition and changing-with-times attitude in her.

I was seriously envying her life. Having grown up with a father who was with the army and now living with a husband who is in the army, she has had an interesting life.

- Growing up in the Red fort and seeing Nehru’s funeral procession

- Traveling with her year old son to Sweden (was her first air travel!)

- Living in Vietnam

- Experiencing the bitter cold in Russia

- Visiting almost every nook and corner of India

are just a few chapters from her life.

And what is more she could intelligently talk about all these moments, while still making me finish everything on the plate, discussing my life and giving me parental advice ! I can’t help but gape at how she still manages to be a home maker with a beautifully decorated house and 2 well-brought up children (a son working abroad and a daughter working in India) and did I mention that she also works as a school teacher?

When I told her this, she laughs and says I just taught my children to be independent. I always told them – “Don’t fall sick, amma does not have time for that and neither do you” and then she proudly narrates an incident when her son, who was then 6 yrs old, came looking for her on his bicycle when she had’nt come home at the usual time. I then confided in her about how I was worried that having kids would affect my life since I hardly see many of my friends who have kids and that I was afraid that I wouldn’t be a good mother either since I cared too much about work. She immediately comforted me and told me in a matter-of-fact way “Children teach us everything, I didn’t know the first thing about babies when I had my first one. My son taught me everything, how to understand if he is hungry/sleepy or simply wants to play, what to do if he is sick. My priorities changed and I didn’t even realize it because he kept me busy but once he was grown up enough to take care of his needs even partially, my priorities changed again. Everything is just a phase, you will adjust automatically to each phase if you have the will to do so”.

Even now, I don’t know why I confided in her and how everything she said comforted me so much.

She is also a great photographer without even realizing it. She has an old canon digicam (one of the first models with the teeny-tiny screen) and as I was flipping through it, I was amazed at the pictures – there were people, places, flowers, animals, sunsets, waterfalls and all pictures showed professionalism, she really has an eye for photos and when I suggested that she and I take a picture, she modestly smiles and says that she is not very good at taking photos! Nevertheless, we did manage to take one together. There was no way I was leaving the place without such a souvenir !

When I finally left, she waved goodbye until my car disappeared from her view.

Even though we meet a lot of people in our lives, there are only a few that make a lasting impression….Mrs.Rani was one such person...I miss her and I hope to see her soon. For all I know, I can probably run into her even in Munich! After all, isn't life full of surprises ?