Wednesday, February 24, 2010

When parents become children...

What do I do when...

..amma, who made sure that I have all my meals at the right time, is now not having any of her meals at the right time ?

..appa, who explained to me that spending too much time in front of the computer is not healthy, is now going to bed at odd hours because he is reading vikatan online ?

..amma, who used to go to the temple and do 108 pradakshinam each time I had an exam, is now not even able to walk to the temple ?

..appa, who played tt with my brother and taught me to how ride a bicycle, is now having trouble with climbing stairs ?

..it takes me 10 phone calls of yelling, begging, blackmailing to get them to go to a medical check-up when they did all they could to prevent me from having a single sick day ?

..all my suggestions for healthy eating habits, exercise does nothing except make appa call me HM (headmistress) ?

..a comparison with other healthy relatives for the sake of motivation ends up only hurting amma ?

..I have to teach discipline to someone who taught me the word, its meaning and also how to practice it?

..I want to bring them to Germany, show them where I studied, where I work, where I live all along knowing that it might be too risky with their current state of health?

..I want to fulfill appa’s dream (from ever since he was boy) to visit Switzerland and the feeling of exasperation drives me mad since it is so within reach (Zurich is 4 hours from Munich) if he was a tad healthier?

I am now ridden with guilt, caught in a realm of helplessness that drives my temper levels to unfathomed heights and I keep thinking that the only way to take care of ‘children’ is to be with them and force them to do what is right...So makkale, the next time I come to India and you do not get to see me or speak to me then you should know that I am busy being a parent !

Gold fish translator:
Amma – mother
Appa – father
Makkale – people
Pradakshinam – sanskirt for going around in a circle (in a temple) as a form of worship
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