Friday, February 4, 2011

At crossroads...

There is this mattress ad that says that one-third of life is spent in bed. And I think the remaining is spent in decision making - when we decide to get up, what to eat, what to wear, when to leave for work, what things are to be done today and when we finally get to back to the comfortable one-third part of life !

The day-to-day decisions are indeed easy since they fall into a routine and we can often deal with the consequences easily - a sigh when the favorite blouse doesn't fit anymore, a shrug when there is no time to eat, honking when there is traffic, an irritated look when we switch lines and the line we just left starts moving ahead....but what happens when we know we have to make a decision that may alter our lives forever?

Big decisions are never easy; not knowing whether we can live with the burden of the consequences makes them even more intimidating. A simple example - if we had to choose between a high paying job in a god forsaken city and a low paying job in a happening one, which job should one take? Is the social life worth the money one would lose? If I take the high paying job, can I deal with the fact that there will be nothing to do in the evenings and over the weekends? A more complicated example would be if the high paying job did not promise any challenges that would give one job satisfaction. Does one choose money or improving one’s career? In some cases, the priorities help determine the decision – a big family dependent on my salary would make me choose the high paying job, come what may and will serve as a motivation to help me deal with the pitfalls of the decision ! But what if the priorities themselves are unclear?

I am now in a place where I have to make multiple big decisions both in my personal life and work. There are no right or wrong decisions, all of them have their pros and cons. I cannot ask for anyone’s help (except of course Ashok) and I cannot count on the future turning out exactly as I hope. I am afraid that down the road, I may resent the decisions I make now and even if make my peace with the consequences, I am worried that I would hurt my near and dear ones.

Kadavule, give me clarity of thought, give me courage and resolve for clarity of action and above all, give me strength to stick to my decisions and anything else they may bring!

I googled for Manadhil urudhi vendum lyrics and found it in a blog…..by Sowmya…..maybe this is a sign.. :)

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