Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Chinna pasanga neenga

There are certain songs that are dear to one’s heart. Of course a lot depends on the music but there is another important factor – the phase in your life that you associate with the song. For example, you will never forget the songs you liked when you fell in love. These songs always bring a smile, irrespective of how the love affair ended, for they trigger those fond memories buried deep inside. Even if it is a passing crush, every song you hear about a beautiful girl will remind you of the girl you have a crush on, any duet will have you as a hero/heroine in it.

I had all these thoughts when an acquaintance mentioned the problems he was having with his 14 year old daughter. He was frustrated with how she was listening to the same song over and over again, and how she kept texting/emailing all day long. Finally he confessed saying it was a nightmare having to deal with a teenage girl and that he would easily raise three boys in place of one girl! I have to say I agree with him. Boys generally are or at least seem uncomplicated. Young boys get into trouble too but usually the kind of mischief is foreseeable and they will come around in their own pace. On the other hand, girls go around assuming they know what is right, so there is no hope of them coming around unless they have a revelation; a lesson learnt the hard way and sometimes even that wouldn’t help! They are confused, sneaky, subject to mood swings and the worst part is one should always expect the unexpected with them.

When I saw ‘Vinnai thandi varuvaya’ the first thought that occurred to me was ‘paavam pasanga’ (poor men!), I really pity them for having to deal with such confused girls. And in the movie, Trisha was supposed to be an intelligent working woman. If a girl like her does not have some clarity about what she wants from life, then one can imagine what teenage girls will be like.

Mind you, just because I supported men in the last few sentences does not mean I am going to let my kind down! It drives me nuts when I hear filmy dialogues like “naanga ponna partha udane decide panniduvom, ungala madhri payyan kitta panam irukku velai irukanu pakka maatom’ (Man cares only about the girl, girl cares about his job and money) because it simply makes no sense. Men are, in most of the cases, superficial. If a girl is good looking, half the work is done. Then they just look for other reasons to complete the rest of the work. For women, its much more than good looks, it’s the ability to be able to count on him for everything and to inspire this kind of trust, it either takes time or at least a few gestures. Irrespective of how career oriented a woman is, there are certain times when she wants to be dependent on her partner financially (for eg: when she is in the family way or when she takes a break from her career to raise the kids).…so no wonder she wants to know about how he makes money and how much. A princess marrying a pauper happens only in the movies.

I am digressing…..I was listening to Satrangi re today, a song that touches a key in my heart anytime I hear it and there were times when I used to listen to this over and over again and drive appa crazy :D! This time it spurred on the rest of the thoughts too (and hence this post). I think youngsters today have a lot to contend with. Needless to say, there is the school/college/career pressure. Besides that there are numerous temptations right from facebook to easily accessible porn and the technology gives them a loophole to sneak around more easily since most parents are nowhere close to being tech-savvy. I don’t see any problem with some kadalai (harmless flirting) on one of the online forums or sms but many of them get carried away unnecessarily and make decisions that they would probably end up regretting for the rest of their lives. The sad part is there is no use in pointing it out to them because they will never understand it before its too late.

Girls are becoming more and more vulnerable – an arrear or even a gain in weight depresses them and they fall for the next guy who is nice to them and swears that she is the most beautiful/talented girl on the planet. I can understand how such compliments at the right time are ego boosting, well, enjoy those compliments, revive your spirits and move on! What is the hurry in making a decision to marry that guy then and there?! Well that seems like the most natural thing to do according to the recent blockbuster they saw!

Boys (am not sure they are men!) are becoming more and more pathetic – fall in love, yes, but please hold on to your self-respect! I am getting sick of these orkut invites I get from unknown guys and when I check out their profiles to make sure I really don’t know them, more than half of them claim to die if they don’t get the girl to agree! Sure, some of them are just words but the very attitude behind them liking and displaying these words is disturbing. Guys, please, take a stand, have some ego.

What they both don’t understand is that they haven’t seen enough of life yet, once they go out of their ‘world’ for studying or working, they are likely to meet many interesting people and many of them then realize with a sigh that they are already committed leading to nasty break-ups (I am seeing far too many news items right from stabbing to acid throwing!).

It is completely natural to have a crush, have a soft corner for someone or to like someone. But why make a drama out of it and petrify the parents (who probably met for the first time on their engagement or even wedding day), why blow it all out of proportion and make the front page?!

Girls/guys, enjoy being young, make friends, have fun, flirt, but keep your head and don’t worry about the ‘right’ one now…..

This is all most likely going to fall on deaf ears but I am considering it my good deed for the day....


  1. I'd rather that any talk about relationships best be left on the shelf... The sheer number of variables that can arise defining one type of relationship from another alone is enough to stall the most powerful super-computer known yet... so lets jus forget quantifying or qualifying any relationship on the basis of any constant in life... relationships are THE most random events in the universe and no algorithm is jus as good enough to even come within miles close to keeping them in bounds.... jus thinkin out loud...

  2. Avvvvvvvvvv.. VTV Jeni ezhuthina mathiri irukku!! I feel you are over-analyzing.. anyways i liked the subtlity of VTV..

  3. @Bharath
    I think certain things happening around me influenced the post more than I wanted it to

    I agree but I really don't think parents should become a variable...they don't deserve to be in a random event, they already have enough to deal with

  4. Postavida unnoda comment thalai suthavaikkuthu!! :)

  5. make myself more clear, variables as i meant are the factors affecting a relationship, not the subjects in the relationship themselves... of course parents could become one of the variables affecting other relationships you may have in life, but that's that... can't help... even if u wanted to and again... it was random that u were born to your parents... and anyone in world "choosing" to be in something at sometime at someplace... well wht r the odds??? ;) :D

  6. good one.. i completely agree!


Hit Counter
Website Hit Counter I had decided to have a counter only after I hit a 1000 views and since it happened last week (as on 14 Dec 2009), now is the time to see some stats :)