Wednesday, April 14, 2010

'Better' halves of Friends

Yesterday I dreamt of a friend of mine and so in the morning I started thinking about her and I was sort of saddened by the fact that we are not as close as we were...actually it was more the reason behind it than the fact itself...I will get to it later.

When I meet my married friends and get the chance to stay with them, I will totally play the ‘angel’ the first few hours that my friends would exclaim ‘adipaavi, ivalo scene agadhu’...I have a very good reason behind it. I want their spouses to like me because that’s what more or less determines my future relationship with my friend. It is not a question of male chauvinism or anything because this concept works for both my male and female friends. Do you remember how it was to have a friend your parents disapprove of, when you were in school or college? Well, its at least twice as hard as that since everyone involved in this problem is an adult and that means there is no room for compromise!

I learnt this lesson the hard way. We got off to a wrong start right when my friend got engaged. I was not very impressed with the groom and I thought to myself with fierce pride that my friend deserved better. Just like you can never tell anyone that their baby doesn’t look pretty, you can never tell a girl that you don’t think much of the guy she is going to marry (unless you know something really awful about his personal life…but that’s a different track). So I made my peace with it and wished her well.

When I met them as a couple for the first time after their wedding, I had told myself that I was going to give him the benefit of doubt and make every effort to be as pleasant as I can. The meeting was a disaster….he ticked me off so badly with some very male chauvinistic comments that I snubbed him at least a couple of times in spite of telling myself that my poor friend will be helpless if we do not get along. Slowly our lives kind of drifted apart since I could never bring myself to spend time with her husband again and she could hardly spend some time with me alone.

Then after a few years, when I got another chance, I decided to take it because I was missing my friend quite a bit. I had accepted an invitation from her to stay overnight and frankly, I was dreading it. I was an epitome of goodness that day; I smiled at every snide remark of her husband and remained at guard the whole time. The night went by without any ‘incidences’ but I was so exhausted since I had tried too hard to be someone I was not. My friend noticed it too and although we did not say the words, we both knew that it would the last time I actually stayed with her. We still stay in touch but it is just not the same...and the dream brought back all these memories. The difficult part is there isn’t anything one can do about it...if you cannot hang out with someone and have fun, nothing you do will change it. It reminds me of this episode where Joey’s girlfriend thinks Chandler is boring and Monica is loud (Joey eventually breaks up with the girlfriend – for once, friends score over ‘figure’ :D)

There are friends whose spouses I have not yet met or even spoken a word to. But I find that situation much easier to deal with because what you don’t know cannot affect you.

On the other hand, I have other friends with whose spouses I get on so well that I actually talk to them more than I talk to my friends! So I guess one has to be prepared for everything. I love playing the match maker (in spite of Ashok saying enniku yaaru kitta udai vanga poriyo) and even though the main motive is to hook up two nice people who can have fun together, the ulterior motive is knowing that I get to retain both of them as friends even after they get married ;) :D....well, I wonder how my best friend married my cousin...devil emoticon with angelic smile !

So all my single friends out there, please marry someone I already know and get along with :)...if she/he gets along with me, then he/she is definitely a great person to be with ;) :D ?!

PS: Makkale, iniye thamizh puthandu vazthukkal (idha phone panni solla mudiyama panna t-com/aliceku indha pudhu varshathulayavadhu bhuddi vara kadavadhu!)

Gold fish translator
There are certain things that are completely lost in translation, here are 2 such examples.
adipaavi, ivalo scene agadhu - ???, this is taking it too far !
enniku yaaru kitta udai vanga poriya - who knows when you are going to get into trouble
!
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Website Hit Counter I had decided to have a counter only after I hit a 1000 views and since it happened last week (as on 14 Dec 2009), now is the time to see some stats :)